2 - “It's part of growing up. “Little kids don’t bully.”

Little children do bully. Even at younger ages than you think. It is perfectly possible for a child to be unaware of the damage he does when he repeatedly insults or hits a classmate or takes away his candy. But if this bullying child is not corrected, he will never know, and he will be more likely to repeat that behavior in the future with his parents or his future partner. For harassment to exist, two conditions must be met: that the aggressor is aware of what is being done and that he or she has the intention to cause harm. It must be admitted that a small child who repeatedly attacks another may not know how to gauge the seriousness of his actions. But there is no doubt that he means harm. The educator must stop the latter and take advantage of the opportunity to correct the former.

3 - “Bullying only happens with shy and introverted children.”

There is no specific profile of the victim and the harassed. Also extroverted people or people with friends can suffer some type of bullying. The victim of bullying is defined by one of these two traits:

a) He has a uniqueness that distinguishes him from the rest and that becomes the object of attacks: that he is very smart, not very smart, very short, very tall, that he wears glasses, that his skin color is different...

b) A circumstance occurs that puts him in focus: for example, having missed an important goal in a match, etc. A specific uncorrected aggression can be repeated and prolonged over time until it becomes harassment.

4 - “You don't have to pay attention to harassment: it ends up disappearing on its own.”

At first it doesn't seem important, but if you don't stop it in time it becomes a mass that crushes people. The sooner the educator intervenes, the better. You cannot rely on phrases like “that's life”, “calm down, this will pass with time”, “if they harass you, don't pay attention” or worse, “hit them, defend yourself”. We must ensure that the victim of bullying does not adopt a passive or aggressive attitude, but rather an assertive one: stop the harassment without violence, with the appropriate tools.

5 - “If there are no physical attacks, we cannot talk about harassment.”

Insulting a person, turning them into an object of social contempt or isolating them from the rest of their classmates are drops that, by accumulation, end up destroying the child's confidence. It is proven that the deterioration of self-esteem can generate post-traumatic stress and suicidal tendencies. Years ago it was thought that one could only talk about bullying when a physical attack occurred. Today it is known, thanks to different research, that physical attacks account for only 10% of overall cases of school bullying. Sometimes the psychological consequences of bullying can be worse than the physical ones.

6 - “If it doesn't happen many times, it's not harassment.”

How long is 'many times'? How many attacks must a person endure before they stop being abused? Depending on the criterion, an attack can be considered something specific. Two attacks may perhaps be due to chance. But damage that is inflicted for the third consecutive time implies repetition and an attitude that must be dealt with.

7 - “Bullying has always existed.”

Is it reasonable to allow an evil to persist, or not fight it, because “it has always existed”? Consequences of not avoiding bullying: depression, anxiety, suicide... In addition, children have increasingly easier access to scenes of violence, and they are losing respect for both the figure of the teacher and that of the father or mother themselves.

8 - “The school has done what it should: it has opened the protocol.”

An anti-bullying protocol is very useful... if it prevents it from occurring or if, once it occurs, it contributes to stopping it. But the mere existence and application of a protocol, by itself, does not solve anything.

9 - “My son does not bully: that is impossible.”

No one behaves at home as naturally as they do at work. Neither do the children. To reverse this situation, he recommends that overprotective parents attend a juvenile court as an audience, to see with their own eyes what a child who has not been corrected in time can become. Sometimes, the school complies with all the required steps to avoid bullying and it is the parents who prevent their child from receiving an educational punishment, such as arriving at school an hour early or cleaning the classroom. It is essential that parents support the sanctions, not punitive but educational, that are applied to their children when they have harassed a classmate.

10 - “How have I not realized that my son is being bullied?”

All harassment sends signals that can be perceived in the environment of the person who suffers it, as long as due attention is paid. Parents should be attentive to signs that may indicate that something is not right: the child is afraid, sleeps poorly, frequently loses school supplies, arrives with scratches or scars, wakes up with vomiting, dizziness or fatigue... To a parent who If you are surprised to find out that your child is being bullied, you have to ask: do you know your child well?

11 - “Nothing can be done against harassers because there is no criminal sanction against them.”

That a child does not have criminal responsibility does not mean that he does not have the right to be corrected. If you have to punish him to re-educate him, the appropriate punishment must be applied to correct his mistakes. The child who bullies has a responsibility and must understand that her bad behavior has negative consequences for him.